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Loving Service — The Basic Principle of Vaishnava Marriage

By H.H. Chandramauli Swami

Married life especially in this age is such a trip! So many difficulties, Kali-yuga is filled with so many faults, kalerdosa-nidherajann (SB 12.3.51) an ocean of faults especially when two people try to work together to practice Krsna consciousness. So it takes determination, it takes allegiance to authorities and it takes faith that by following that it will work out.

One time one lady came to me in Vrindavan she said, “Maharaj my husband is very nice but he doesn’t talk to me. He sits and reads Caitanya Caritamrta all day. The only time he talks to me is when we take prasad. He is just too busy reading Caitanya-caritamrta and I am like practically not even there most of the time. What should I do?” You can think about how to answer this one!

First thing is that you too should sit next to him and read Caitanya-caritamrta and in that way based on that there will be a relationship but I said, “I think you married a brahmacari.” So later on we found out that the marriage did not work out. He married Caitanya-caritamrta and she became very much renounced and is practicing Krsna consciousness now very successfully. Both of them are very strong characters and both of them are fixed in their Krsna consciousness. So they were able to move on but that is not always the case. I bring up this point just to show that many times although relationships are there and one partner tries to make it work, there has to be cooperation from both. Okay we won’t speak too much and take comments or questions.

Question: Maharaj thank you for the class. Hare Krsna. My question is that in Kali-yuga very often we have bad experiences with authority, we are cheating or we are getting cheated we loose faith in the process of getting knowledge, the descending process. We try to depend on our own wits and our desires. So my question is, in your experience what is the key to creating faith in authorities?

HH Candramauli Swami: Loosing faith in the authorities because the authorities are not qualified to act so you gain some faith or is it that one just doesn’t have faith in the authority. From the authorities side or the other side. From the authorities side it is unfortunate. Prabhupada said, he gives the example of the child who very lovingly puts his head on the lap of the mother and if his mother is not qualified she may decide to abuse the child. The child has faith in the mother’s protection but the mother does not reciprocate it. That is unfortunate.

Srila Prabhupada did give us the authority within our society; those who are representing Srila Prabhupada have to be fixed on the teachings and the mood that Srila Prabhupada gave. Srila Prabhupada said seniors should be very kind and affectionate to the juniors and the juniors should be very obedient and faithful to seniors. To be an authority means to be kind and concerned for the spiritual well-being of others otherwise there is the deficiency in the authority.

So following those authorities that have that should be done and those that don’t have that should be corrected because the worst thing is an unqualified authority. They lead others in the wrong direction. Without faith there is no question of Krsna consciousness. When trust is not there then one will give up surrender.

Having faith in the authority means to hear from the authority, to serve, get direction and develop a relationship with the authority. So we have to build relationships. It is not that the authority is so distant. He or she is the authority from a distant. This is a personalists movement so that authority also has to develop a relationship otherwise one may have some trust but not fully until the relationship develops. When there is a relationship then that relationship is based on love and trust then one can accept whatever is given by his authority. When that is not there one will be hesitant and not accept anything.

Everything is based on relationship. We are developing our relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead and we also develop relationships with Vaisnavas.

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